Wake up kids, we've got the dreamers disease.

A few different things here. I'm exhausted, and I really want to go to bed but I just put one of those mask things on my face, and it's still got like ten minutes. Let's see what I can accomplish before then.

I really don't like when people are terrified of the future to the point of not being able to talk about it. I can't gripe too much because I used to do exactly that. Rewind to junior and senior years in high school. Everyone started talking about college and I usually begged for a topic change. It really just stressed me out. But I got over it, you know? And I suppose the people I'm thinking about right now with this problem will get over it someday too, I just.. I don't know.

I asked a friend of mine what his plan B was. What if things didn't work out like he wanted them to, and he had to choose another path? He didn't want to talk about it, he said no offense. It's just, I guess I worry about him. I mean, I worry about all my friends of course. I just want them to be happy and successful. I think because I feel like my life is all out of whack, that maybe I can find some semblance of organization in other peoples lives. It just seems a little dramatic to me to be like, "Oh I don't know, and it terrifies me I don't want to talk about it." I just wonder, what, you have NO backup plan whatsoever? What if THIS happens? What if THAT happens? Nevermind, who am I to talk?

Tomorrow night is the Third Eye Blind concert. God, am I excited or what. I'm taking my sister with me, she's been a fan of them since SHE was in high school, like 8 years ago. I just got into them within the last year, thanks to The Ex, as we shall lovingly call him haha. I haven't spoken to or seen him since I last told him to stop contacting me, that I didn't want to see him anymore. (Makes sense huh haha.) The thing is, I know he's going to be there. It's going to be awkward if I run in to him. It's a big place, I really shouldn't. I've been doing really well since I finally took charge and told him basically to buzz off. But as much as I tell myself I won't look for him tomorrow, I know I will. Whatever though, you know? I've definitely moved on. He's not THAT person in my life anymore. I don't make myself crazy over it anymore. It's just a 'I wonder how he's doing now' kind of curiosity, and a 'Is he going to be with HER' curiosity. I might not be able to stop myself from publicly vomiting if she's there, I can't lie. It's not that she's hideous, I mean... Yeah, I feel like I'm more attractive than her, but that's not even what I'm talking about. It's more the sick feeling I get when I think about the fact that for a month of leading me to believe that he wanted me back he was still going home to her every night. Fuuuuckkeeedd upppp. But you know, that's just how he rolls. Heartbreakers, what can you do? MOVE THE FUCK ON, that's what. It's taken seven months, but I've done it. It's good.

American Idol tonight. Okay America, what the fuck. How could you POSSIBLY vote Syesha and Ramiele OVER Carly?? Carly is one of the best, if not THE best vocalist that competition has. I just don't get it. Some people just wouldn't know talent if it punched them in the face. Pisses me off.

That's all I've got right now, it's time to wash my face and go to bed.

PEACE!


ktg.