A very disorganized rant.

We had a really great time together. That handful of months we spent together were something I used to wish could have lasted forever. But not anymore. I see what you've become, I see the girl you've dubbed worthy of your time... It just doesn't make any sense to me, how you could stoop to the levels you have. You're a professional time waster. A professional bullshitter. A professional dream crusher. A professional cop-out. A professional liar. A professional drug addict. A professional heart breaker.

I told you the other day, that I don't want us to be angry anymore, that when I see you on the streets, I'll be friendly. But I also told you that I didn't want to see you again. We tried being friends, but it didn't work. Maybe for you it did, not for me. Maybe you noticed that during this 'friend' stage, you were the one calling me, emailing me, IMing me. I didn't try to get in contact with you whatsoever. If you wanted to hang out, I said sure. I just don't know what the hell it is you wanted from me. You didn't want to BE with me.. You didn't want to love me anymore, but you did want to spend a chunk of your free time with me. I freaking spent the night on your couch one night. You have a girlfriend. Yet I hung out with you from 3 pm to 11 am the next morning. Why did that happen? If I was your girlfriend, I'd be PISSED if you had exes hanging out with you at ALL, let alone OVER NIGHT. Makes me wonder what you were doing when I WAS your girlfriend.

You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. You wanted all the benefits I came with, an easy going girl who knew you really well to talk to, get coffee with, stay up late with, who would listen to... Yet you just wanted to be friends. I told you the other night though... We can't be friends. I either wanted it all, or nothing at all from you. I've finally come to the realization that you will never change. You will always be that guy- that charming on the outside, fucked up mess on the inside who doesn't believe in love. There's nothing left I can do for you, so I have to go. My time is up. I tried so hard for you. I was so in love with you. You left me hanging, and now I just have to go. What you're doing with your life right now is the same thing my dad said I was doing with you. You're settling. You could have so much more, but you refuse to work for anything. I guess that's something I've learned from you. I've learned that I want the best for myself. You'll never get the best for you, you don't want to work for it. But I know now. I deserve the best, and it's not you.

I have officially moved on. Just so you know. I still hate seeing the pictures of you and her together; frankly, I think she's disgusting. I hate seeing you in those pictures pretending to be happy when I know for a fact that you're not. You're a professional poser too. And she's disgusting. That's what we call 'White Trash' my friend. Take some notes.

Moral of the story. I loved you. We had a great time. But to see the person you've become; I'm ashamed to have ever called you my own. You turned into a person I never could have ended up with. I've moved on. Bigger and better things are coming my way. And while I wish the best for you, I really don't ever want to see you again.

Good Riddance.


ktg.